Relationship Fight-or-Flight:
Engaging the Most Challenging Couples

Don Ferguson, Ph.D.

Thank you for your interest in Reptiles in Love.
Since completing his book Dr. Ferguson opened Infinite Relationships, LLC, a unique evaluation, education and counseling center for relationships, offering seminars, weekend workshops and treatment. Please go to www.inrelationships.com for schedules of seminars, workshops and other helpful information.

 

Program Description:

Marital therapy often fails with those that most need our help. Traditional approaches attempt too quickly to push partners towards each other, which serves to increase their negative physiological arousal. This predictably and understandably leads to severe resistance or to the couple simply leaving treatment.

The most troubled, angry and estranged couples can be engaged in a therapeutic alliance through this approach, which respects their fears and sensitivity to being overwhelmed. The initial focus of treatment is not towards greater intimacy but towards reducing intensity. Methods are described for helping partners help each other slow down destructive processes.

The progression is from their initial estrangement to a sense of cooperation, then to a renewal of their friendship. Intimacy and sexuality become possible more quickly because safety and relaxed interactions are first achieved.

Program Purpose:

1) Introduce a model applicable to any relationship which has been used successfully with all kinds of couples as well as with organizations.

2) Teach an organized approach to assessment, engagement and clarification of treatment goals and approaches.

3) Encourage a strategic, solution oriented approach which respects the newest information from mind/body and brain science.

Learner Objectives:

At the end of this seminar you will be able to:

1. Assess the multiple layers of any couples' presentation.

2. Educate partners about their own fight-or-flight responses and how to be on the lookout for the warning signs of reptilian reactions.

3. Help partners see their difficult interactions in more hopeful ways.

4. Identify the four common fears of couples attempting change in their relationship.

5. Establish an effective treatment alliance with resistant couples.

6. Enlist the partners in helping each other lower intensity and create safety.

7. Move partners more quickly through stages of attachment back to a sense of intimacy.

Please contact us at our e-mail address infiniterelationships@tds.net or by phone at (608)848-8000
for more information or to arrange a workshop for your organization.